a very merry unbirthday

img_4720

Today is not a special day.  Today is not my birthday.  Today is Monday.  Today seems to be filled with the same mundane tasks  in my schedule—yet today, today felt like something more when I woke up this morning.  When I woke up very late 10 minutes ago, thus making myself unable to attend class—yet, I woke today feeling refreshed, feeling content, feeling like it is a special day, and I knew. Continue reading

raising my white flag

raising my white flag | Journey for JessiIt’s weird to say this, but I’m surrendering to this war I’ve been fighting in my body.  I’ve mentioned briefly here and there about my symptoms and never ending trips to the doctor’s and laboratories, unless we’ve personally chatted, then I’ve probably ranted your ear off (sorry ’bout that…).  I’ve had viles of blood taken, physical examinations, EKGs, salivary tests and I’ve had to pee in a freaking jug for 24 HOURS.  TMI?  Nah.  Welcome to my personal hell these past few months.  What is worst of all however, is that I am still undiagnosed and the medical system has left me on my own again.  So here I am.  Left to keep on fightin’ until I don’t have fight left in me–and well, that day came this morning… Continue reading

back to nature

backyard yoga--Journey for JessiI have not felt myself lately.  I have felt bogged down, stressed out, and really anxious.  I often seem to spread myself too thin, trying to accomplish many tasks in a small amount of time in order to feel successful and make sure I do not let others down.  During one of my recent chaotic clouds though, I made myself pause for a moment to ask, “Aren’t I on summer break?”  One of my biggest fears in life is not having enough time, but if I am trying to cram too many experiences in a brief period of time, won’t I miss something? Continue reading